Girl Fight Review

Girl Fight seems to focus only on showing off ‘sexy’ female fighters, rather than making a good exemplar of the Fighting genre.

(Possible Spoilers) Okay, Gamers! I’m not even going to bother writing a funny intro for this review…No, no! Don’t be sad, because I am going to go on a very significant and possibly hurtful rant about this game today :D . Girl Fight is exactly what the bold sentence up at the top says it is; so that means that Japanese gamers would probably be proud of a game like this. I don’t think Girl Fight will ever pass off as a good fighting game, and it’s not worth buying either. Yes? You in the back! You have a question? You want to know why? I’ll tell you why……What? Why I’m telling you why? Because this is a review…How long did it take some you guys to figure out that this is what I do?…

Ah, yes…a title that would attract quite a number of men if I do say so myself…

Alright, so the Good quality to Bad quality ratio here is 2:3; it may sound okay, but it’s not a very good ratio in my book. Bad qualities should never outnumber good ones. So, what’s wrong with this game? Well, let’s start off with the Story. I don’t think the story is very good AT ALL. It’s well delivered, but as a knowledgeable person of Japanese culture, I see this story as one of those typical plots that may sound serious, but are actually crafted up of certain events that make women move in specific ways that men (a majority being perverts) want them to do. In other words, a plot much like that of this game’s is designed to exploit female body parts in order to cause arousal within men. I mean, come on! A company called “The Foundation,” that happens to capture only sexually appealing women that barely wear any clothing, and on top of that makes them fight each other? Clearly, that sets us up for seeing clothing getting ripped off of bodies, bouncing chests, and tons of fan service.

Ladies, Ladies! Please stop fighting! There's enough of me for everybody...I think...

Ladies, Ladies! Please stop fighting! There’s enough of me for everybody…I think…

Whenever you head out to your local retailer to buy a fighting game, you expect all the characters to have some pretty decent combos and special attacks, right? Well, Girl Fight’s Combat System doesn’t fully meet those requirements. If you’re looking for a game that stresses the importance of eclectic fighting styles, this is not the game for you. The combat in this game is repetitive, so you WILL get bored very quickly. Unless you’re the kind of person who plays to receive collectibles and in-game bonus perks; if you’re that kind of person then Girl Fight is an okay game for you, because you can at least focus on earning the entirety of its sub-par collection of skins and power-ups. Other than that, most of the fighting moves are common within each character, and you’ve got the usual sexually-exposing/brutal finishing moves. What’s even worse, is that the game’s camera angles have a similarity to those of arcade games from the 90s . This isn’t good at all, because that set of camera angles is designed specifically for a 2D fighting game, and Girl Fight is supposed to be a 3D fighting game (my friend pointed this out when he came over :P). I didn’t know what it was all about, but I had a feeling that the developers tried to merge 2D camera angles with the 3D ones. I speculated that this was the case after I had realized that at the start of every fight, the camera would be positioned at an angle suited for 2D proportions, and would alternate between 3D and 2D angles depending on the actions of the conflicting characters. I know that Girl Fight is supposed to be an arcade style game, but merging new and old, in my opinion, isn’t always a good idea (*In a Woody Allen voice* mainly because the outcome hurts my eyes :P) when it comes to gaming. I would really prefer the developers to stick with a more “new age” 3D fighting game style and to not refer to old methods. What would be even better, is to just have the camera rotating around the arena while zooming in and out the whole time (like in Soul Caliber :D).

This stage sort of reminds me of the rebel base on planet Hoth…you know, from Star Wars?…

Obviously, an important aspect of visuals in fighting games is the set of Stages that characters have to fight in throughout the game. So, do the stages look good? Are they visually appealing? Do they give great aesthetic pleasure? Do those three questions basically ask the same thing? The stages are alright; NOT GOOD, but alright. While playing the game you would have probably noticed that the stages look nice from a certain distance, but actually harbor “clunky” qualities when you get a closer look. To me, the stages looked like something out of Minecraft when I got a closer look. The developers didn’t piece them together very well at all, and as result of that, the stages get a sort of square-ish, cube-like look. So, I’m not sure whether or not they did that on purpose in order to mirror the style of 2D arcade games. But other than that, the stages have pretty cool themes ranging from the Apocalypse to ruins of ancient cathedrals.

Too bad I can’t post a picture of music itself…

Who doesn’t like to hear good Music while playing a fighting game? Fighting music is just as important as anything else when it comes to making a fighting game. A list of fighting games with great music includes Mortal Kombat, Soul Caliber, Dead Or Alive, Street Fighter, and Tekken. Girl Fight will never be on that list…EVER. The game mostly incorporates Dubstep, which I am not a very big fan of, into its fighting soundtrack. You might like Dubstep, but I prefer to listen to a more eclectic soundtrack when it comes to fighting games. However, even if you’re a big fan of Dubstep, you will eventually get tired of listening to the game’s music, which basically all sounds the same to me :P

*In a Shaolin monk voice* Impossible!…That’s a forbidden move!…

The last thing to talk about is the set of playable Characters. There are only 8 of them…yeah, it’s a real bummer, right? In addition to there only being 8 characters, the many different skins you can unlock to put them in are so terrible. I wouldn’t even so much as call them “skins” either, they’re really just the same outfits, but with different colors. On the other hand, apart from these horrible choices that the developers made, I’ll admit that the cast of characters are indeed very attractive…But they’re still no match for the women from Dead Or Alive! Each character has an interesting back story as well, each one connecting to “The Foundation” later on in the story. The cast has some pretty cool names too, I might even go so far as to name my future child Chrome. If I have a second child, I’ll name that one Warchild :D

Excuse me? Ma’am? Could you please refrain from side kicking my housemaid in the stomach?

As you can see, gamers, this game certainly has a lot more downs than ups. So, as I conclude my Girl Fight Review, I want you to consider what makes a good quality fighting game. I’m sure many of you already know, but for those of you who have had to constantly return terrible fighting games in the past, keep the 5 criteria that I had just scrutinized in mind and make sure not to screw up and purchase another bad game. Now, I know that I wasn’t as humorous as I was in my other reviews, but when it comes to playing a really bad game, I have to be serious towards you guys so that you can get the gist of what I’m saying. In doing so, I can effectively give you guys a well spoken “This game STINKS!” lecture :D

One more final thought: I’m surprised that I haven’t heard about any feminist groups protesting about the clearly visible female exploitation in this game…. Anyway, thanks for reading, you guys! I have a feeling that BI: Burial At Sea is coming right around the corner. So, you can be sure to get ready for that!

Girl Fight was reviewed on a PS3 using a promo code. Girl Fight is now available for PS3 and Xbox 360.

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