What follows is an incoming transmission originating from somewhere between Earth and Mars:
“Greetings, fleshy Earthbeings. Cryptosporidium here, though you skin-wrapped water wads can call me Crypto-137.
I wanted to let you know that my Abducto Beam is finally ready and I’m journeying Earthwards right now. If my calculations are correct then P-Day – that’s Probe-Day to you mortal meat morsels – is set for July 28th, 2020. On that day I will officially Destroy All Humans!
I’ll see you future-victims soon on PC, PlayStation®4, and Xbox One™!”